Everything You Wanted to Know About Autoimmune Diseases But Were Afraid to Ask

As I was browsing through my list of saved links on my Favorites list earlier today I came across this very comprehensive and interesting site:Understanding Autoimmune Diseases

Symptoms, possible causes and other startling information are discussed.

It's a very interesting and eye-opening read both for those suffering from an autoimmune condition as well as for those that simply want to learn about it.

Battling a Social Stigma

For several months now my Endocrinologist has persuaded me to see a Psychologist. She once asked me about my line of work and I believe my response was that I was stressed out and didn't like my job. Ever since then she has asked if I wanted her to prescribe me a "happy pill." I have since been laid off along with 600 other fellow workers so clearly my unhappiness at work is no longer an issue. It was indeed a blessing in disguise come to think of it. I was seriously hanging on by a thread both physically and mentally as a result of my illness and also because I was no longer satisfied with the job. My side business which is my true passion was beginning to overshadow my full-time job anyway and it sounds horrible to say but my 9 to 5 job was becoming a hindrance blocking my ability to expand the business further.

As every visit came and went my Endocrinologist kept asking me if I saw anyone yet. I began to wonder: Do I look unhappy? Am I really unhappy and just in denial about it? Was I depressed and didn't even know it? I decided to give talking to someone a try.

Seeing someone and speaking about your feelings and problems is virtually unheard of in my mind and not how I was raised at all. Taking a "happy pill" is even more of a taboo. While I am happy to say that I overcame my pride about seeing a therapist (I will be seeing her for the third time coming up next week), I still feel very strongly about not taking any medication unless I truly need it. I maintain that I don't have to since thankfully I don't have extreme Depression or Anxiety. I have discovered that I do suffer from these afflictions from talking to the therapist but all in all I manage it well.

Thyroid disease can cause symptoms of mental illness unfortunately. I must admit that before I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's I had some pretty scary bouts of depression but always managed to rationalize it and function well in the world. I guess a part of me thought it was normal to feel this way and I haven't felt otherwise so this must be my normal. I have never felt the need to see anyone as a result and also didn't want any of the stigma attached. A part of me still feels a little funny about walking to the therapist's office or sitting in the waiting room. I wonder what the others think I'm there for? I hope no one recognizes me. It's all so silly but there still is that real fear of being stigmatized. I'm by no means crazy but I'd be a fool if I said I didn't have any thing to work out or toward. We all have something or other.

I am happy with myself for taking that first step. It really is the only time during the week that's truly just for me and about me. It's a time to help me sort out my feelings in dealing with this illness. I often have a "it's no big deal" attitude even when with things that are a huge deal. It is a big deal that I can't let myself just relax when my body and mind are telling me that I need to. It is a big deal when I berate myself for not finishing every little thing on my to-do list. It is a big deal when I feel like a failure because I didn't do something substantial to expand my business on any given day because I feel too sick and out of it to even think about doing anything. These are just a few of the things I hope to work through. I just want to be able to enjoy my life more and reach the goals I set in place for myself while respecting the fact that I may not have the energy I once used to.

I'm a work in progress but the stage has been set. For anyone thinking about seeing a Psychologist but wary of doing so I highly recommend it. If I did it you can too. It's time for this stigma to go away.

Yet Another Odd Symptom

A funny thing happened to me in Philly the other day.... That sounds like the beginning of a joke but the truth is it wasn't funny at all and more scary than anything. Once again a new symptom reared its ugly head.

My right knee swelled up and stiffened to the point where it became quite difficult and painful to walk. And of all days I had a long walk ahead of me. I was walking down Broad Street, Philadelphia celebrating the Phillies' National League Division win. Go Phillies! It was an amazing experience except for the minor annoyance that was my knee. Why now? *sigh*.

If I didn't mention it before I'll say it again, I have a very loving and accepting boyfriend. I didn't want to ruin this experience for him and didn't want to complain so kept right on walking. This symptom however was a very visual one and when he felt how swollen it was compared to the other knee we hobbled ourselves right over to IHOP and had some dinner or breakfast depending on how you look at it. The festivites were winding down anyway and the police were out in full force blocking streets anyway.

I have experienced some slight knee swelling in the past but never to the degree that I had that night. Usually it was more of a full feeling above my knees that would go away in a couple of hours without any pain sort of like if your ankles swelled up or something. Well, I went home and spent the next day almost completely off my feet. The swelling went away and my knee popped a few times. I did some online research and discovered that a swelling above the knee might be bursitis. Those succeptible to getting it include those with thyroid disease. I had suspected as such. I kind of in the back of my head thought it was an autoimmune flareup or something of the sort. The question is what exactly does it mean? Does it mean that I need more Synthroid because my hormones are once again out of whack? Does it mean that my antibodies are finding new tissue to destroy migrating from my throat to my knee? Is it the start of a more sinister autoimmune disease like rheumatoid arthritis?

I need to ask my doctor on the next visit. I do see my Endocrinologist for a blood test in a couple of days. I'll mention this to her and see what she has to say.