Disability: Yay or Nay?

Speaking of stigmas! Again I have been raised to not even see a doctor unless you're practically on your death bed. Feeling a little nauseous? Go to school! A headache? Go to work! Yes, disability in my mind meant someone completely incapacitated and not being able to do anything. Perhaps I was also led to believe that it was a handout and that many who didn't truly need it or were deserving of it got it anyway. A certain neighbor who received it simply due to the fact that she was obese came to mind. I'm no waif by any means but I certainly wasn't one of those people who was about to take advantage of the system.

Constantly bombarded with Binder & Binder commercials flashing every 5 minutes or so on the tv, I began to wonder if my illness qualified as a disabling condition. When I was working prior to being laid off in September I remember feeling ill most days. I am still horrified by how many sick days I took and even moreso by the fact I wasn't fired by my employer for taking so many. I have good days and bad days but if my bad ones extend to more than a few at a time like they did I wonder if any new prospective employer would ever put up with me. That's a sobering thought which started to crack the shield of denial I have worn so long regarding my own disability.

I decided to do some research about what disability truly was and if I qualified for it. SSI is strictly needs based and I don't even qualify for Food Stamps so that one is definitely not for me. SSDI on the other hand is a program that you pay into while working sort of like an insurance if you do ever become disabled. There's no shame in that at all and I certainly paid into it throughout my career. I am indeed entitled to every penny and it's not a handout at all.

I then browsed through the various ailments that automatically qualify you and shockingly, but perhaps not so, I qualified for several. I have an Endocrine disease, Immune ailment and Depression. I have since brought up possibly signing up for disability with both my General Practioner and Endocrinologist. They both agreed that they would gladly help me and also suggested seeing a Psychologist. The main reason for this was not only for my ultimate happiness and to help me deal with my illness but also because I am so young and educated that it may be a bit more difficult to receive disability. Ha! I have since been seeing a therapist and also mentioned possibly going on disability to her. She completely agreed and is helping me to work through my feelings regarding it and weighing the pros and cons.

Currently I'm still on the fence about it because a part of me feels like I'm almost quitting and giving up the fight. I am a very ambitious person and this doesn't sit well with me. She insisted that there are a great many high-functioning people who receive disability and go on to lead happy and productive lives. Also, you don't have to "look sick" in order to be sick and disabled. I have to keep telling myself that. Another thing she brought up is that stress levels can exacerbate my condition (I know this all too well) and so looking into disability is a very wise decision and one that will help me in the long run.

I will also still be able to bring in some sort of income by doing part-time work. A certain amount per month is allowed. I believe that one is allowed to own a business but not work at it as well. There are a lot of other things I need to look into but I am looking at filing for disability in a whole new light and will probably start actively doing so within the month. I understand that it is a long and drawn out process and the sooner you get the ball rolling the better. I will continue to post any new information regarding my filing for disability. Remember it's not the end but a new beginning.